Aerith and Rufus
by GeneralQuistis-Zhakeena
Summary: Aerith was given a chance for a second life and takes Rufus with her... but they switch places as punishment... what happens now?!
1. Uno

Aerith and Rufus 

            By: General Quistis & Zhakeena

            Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story plot and the title; any resemblance to any other plots or titles is purely coincidental.

Trepe's Note: Hell, if you're just going to flame this, just go away. I don't need lowlifes like you to tell me that my work is bad because I already know that! You'll just be wasting your time. Yes, I know that Rufus and Aerith died. You don't need to point it all out and what discs they died in, dammit! But for this fic, they're alive, okay?!?!? Just shut the hell up!!! @o@' (I just hate flamers, that's all… I mean, there are other people out there to flame; but why me???!!!! DAMN!)

But anyway, don't let the title deceive you… **_this is not an Aerith+Rufus fic_**… Oh yeah, and don't mind the OOC. After all, this is a stupid attempt at a humor fic. Duh.

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            "What do you mean we just take a step out of that borderline and we're back in our lives?" 

"Just trust me, okay? We'll be out of here in no time."

"But… what if something goes wrong?"

"You're not the type of person to say those things, Rufus. Did you bump your head during the explosion?"

"I didn't bump my head, Aerith. I just don't want anything bad happening. And we're just spirits now! What if our bodies just rotted?" 

"We'll be okay. Trust me. I've prayed so hard for this!"

"Hmf… oh well, thanks for taking me with you. Maybe when we get back, I'll invite you and your boyfriend for dinner." 

"Heehee! Thanks, Rufus. You're really a kind man. You should've showed that kind of attitude during your first life!"

"Oh shut up and let's go, I can't wait to get back into office and surprise everyone that I, Rufus Shinra, am alive!"

*** 

            "Hey, Cloud, aren't you supposed to be asleep already?" Yuffie asked.

Cloud jerked up when he heard her voice from the kitchen doorway. He realized that he had been sitting there ever since after dinner earlier that evening… and then it was already 2:30 am. 

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Just went down for a midnight snack," she replied as she opened the refrigerator and pulled out some leftover chicken and began to eat it.

Cloud cringed at the thought of eating. He did not even eat dinner. He didn't feel like eating at all… and seeing Yuffie eat cold chicken bits somewhat sickened him. 

"Bye," Yuffie said before leaving him, taking the chicken with her upstairs in her bedroom where she stays with Tifa.

Cloud sighed heavily, thinking that everyone was just trying to ignore the fact that he wasn't eating and he would just spend the whole day walking around the new Sector 7. If he would feel tired, he would just keep on walking. Then before the sun sets, he would return home and just sit alone in his room, brooding over the past and the might-have-been and could-have-been… And he would go down for dinner but would not eat. He would just sit there, staring at his food until Barret would take it and eat it for him.

"You haven't been eating for two weeks…" Tifa pointed out.

"Really?" Cloud thought mindlessly, not really caring. 

Cloud pounded on the table as he got up and went upstairs to his room. He saw that Red XIII was already asleep on his bed, not on the floor. His frown deepened as he went to the window and got out, climbing up to the roof. He sat down there, gazing up at the stars.

"Why am I doing this to myself?" he thought silently.

He couldn't help it. 

"I'm slowly destroying my life and I don't care… maybe if I die of starvation and too much fatigue, I'll see her again…" he thought as he bit his lower lip. 

He turned his gaze to the direction of the newly-restored ShinRa HQ. It was far from where he is but he could clearly see the tall tower.

The remaining executives had restored it and just decided to run the whole of Midgar by themselves.

Cloud's frown deepened as he remembered all the events from the past. "ShinRa is stupid enough to create Sephiroth…" he thought silently as he looked away, clenching his fists, remembering how Aerith died.

He blinked and was even surprised to find that a few tears fell from his eyes upon doing so.

He smiled bitterly. "Aerith," he said gently.

From the bedroom just somewhere below him, he didn't know that the two girls were listening.

Tifa lowered her eyes to the ground. "Why did Aerith have to die?" she asked softly.

Yuffie had this sad look on her face. "Blame it on Sephiroth…" she muttered.

"Hmf… I'm glad he's dead. He's really a pain in the ass," Tifa muttered angrily as she clenched her fists before turning her gaze to the ShinRa Tower. Her expression softened as she began to think of other things, forgetting about Cloud and Aerith…

Yuffie noticed the sudden change in the facial expression of Tifa. "Why are you smiling?" she asked.

Tifa twitched and turned back to her friend with a sheepish look on her face. "N…nothing," she replied.

"You're looking at ShinRa," Yuffie said with an impish smile on her face.

Tifa raised an eyebrow. "I was looking at the stars, not at ShinRa," she fibbed.

Yuffie's smile widened. "Okay, I believe you," she teased before turning away, going to her bed and plopping down with a sigh. "Just go to sleep, Tifa… and dream of that dead guy tonight!" she teased.

"What dead guy?" Tifa demanded.

"I don't know… Sephiroth?" Yuffie asked.

Tifa instantly got her slipper and threw it at Yuffie.

"OW! Okay, okay, I know how much you hate that guy and would prefer it if you were the one who killed him instead of Cloud… sorry!" Yuffie said before covering herself with her blanket.

"Hmf…" Tifa responded before looking back at the ShinRa Tower once again. She smiled gently at it before finally deciding to go to sleep.

*** 

            Aerith slowly opened her eyes and sat up, gazing around her surroundings. It looked like a dump. "Oh my…" she exclaimed as she got up, dusting herself.

She stopped moving when she realized that she was wearing white. "I'm supposed to be wearing pink…" she thought silently with a frown on her face. Her heart suddenly began to beat faster. "Uh-oh…" she muttered. She turned around and saw some broken glass. She quickly ran to it and studied her reflection.

She screamed.

Rufus got up in a start when he heard her scream. "What the…" he began. He stopped when he saw that he was looking at his own body. "But… what am I doing there if I'm here?!" he muttered before slowly looking down at himself. His eyes grew wide in surprise. "PINK?!" he thought. He looked back at the guy in white.

"Oh no…" he muttered.

Aerith turned back to Rufus with tear-stained eyes. "Something must've happened when we crossed… maybe the gods are playing with us…" she said with a trembling voice before finally bursting into tears.

Rufus fell on his knees. "I'm in her body… and she's in mine…" he realized silently with wide eyes. He looked at Aerith crying with his body. "Damn… don't cry! You're ruining my poise!" he snapped.

"But… I can't help it! I thought… I could go to Cloud now but… HOW AM I GOING TO FACE HIM LOOKING LIKE THIS?! I can't kiss him looking like this! People will think he's gay!" Aerith wailed helplessly.

"Oh shut up! People are also going to think that I am gay!" Rufus snapped impatiently as he got up and went to her, helping her up. "Now stop crying before people see us here and starts suspecting something!" he said.

She sniffed as she wiped her tears away. "What are we going to do?" she asked.

"I don't know. Maybe you were the only one who's supposed to be coming back and I wasn't allowed because I was the bad guy before… so they're punishing us." he muttered glumly as he flipped his hair.

"We can't just go to our respective homes and surprise everyone looking like this… maybe we could just switch places for a while?" she suggested with a weak smile on her face.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I'll go to ShinRa and you go to Sector 7," she replied.

He raised an eyebrow. "You gotta be kidding me!" he said as he moved away from her.

"But Rufus, people are going to think that we're freaks or something if we just go back to our own homes looking like this and we tell them the truth… like they'll believe us too! Let's just do this and while we're at it, we'll look for a solution so that we'll get back into our own bodies!" she said.

He sighed heavily, but even if he doesn't like the idea, he just agreed. "Okay, but I most certainly am NOT going to kiss Cloud when I see him. Pweh," he mumbled to himself. 

Aerith gave him the best pleading look one can contort out of Rufus' face. "Please? Just one peck at the cheek? Cloud will think that I didn't miss him at all!!" she said. 

"NO! I won't! Aren't you worried about another person doing the kissing for you?!" Rufus snapped. Aerith's appearance looked kinda funny, though, when doing that angry face. 

"But, Rufus…" she stammered.

He flipped his hair (Aerith's bangs actually) and spoke up and realized that even his voice isn't the same… it's Aerith's voice too. "Why not play hard-to-get? Guys love that! The more he'll _crave_ for you…" he pointed out with a sly smile on his face.

"I don't think that's a nice term, Rufus," Aerith said, completely hating her new masculine voice. "Besides, playing hard-to-get after you've died isn't much of a turn-on, don't you think?" 

Rufus sighed, and regretted it when he sounded too feminine for his tastes. "Oh… I'll just ad-lib my way when I get to your little AVALANCHE hideout, ok? I am not in the mood to think about locking lips with Cloud right now… PTWEH!" he started to walk away but then he stopped. "Hey… where is the AVALANCHE hideout?" he thought silently.

"Rufus, do you know your way?" she called out.

He didn't want to sound so ignorant so he just said, "I'll find my way, don't worry!" and faced her. "Oh by the way, don't you dare giggle like a diseased hyena while you're in my body!" he said with a threatening look on the face… Aerith's face.

Aerith giggled. "I won't, don't worry, Rufus."

"YOU JUST DID!" he snapped.

"No, I didn't… Oh by the way, please try to avoid snapping impatiently and flipping my bangs every now and then… and yeah, don't make me wear white or black coz I'll look bad with those. Okay?" she asked with a smile on her face.

"Oh yeah, and don't smile too much." Rufus reminded her before looking behind him, examining his butt. "Oh man! My butt is too big!" and turned back to Aerith. "No wonder that spiky-headed jerk likes you! Hahahahahahaha!" he teased.

"That is so OOC of you, Rufus," she muttered ridiculously before turning away. "Okay, ShinRa's just in the middle of this City… I can find my way easily… but I don't think Rufus can find AVALANCHE that easily… hmf… Oh well… he said my butt is big so I'll have my revenge: I won't tell him the directions… HAH!" she thought with a mean look on the face… Rufus's face. She also thought that she should avoid smiling for some days while she and Rufus are working out on how to get back to their own bodies.

Rufus quickly made his way out of the dump, dusting Aerith's body. "Darn it… now I have to be like Aerith for days… except for the 'loving Cloud' part." He thought silently with a frown on his face.

Okay, so he's walking like a man… which looks strange on Aerith's body.

And Aerith is strutting like a woman… which really looks strange on Rufus's body.

The early-risers were really staring at them.

***

"Reeve, some folks went to my office this morning and told me that they saw President strutting his way over here. I thought they were crazy so I threw them out. Gyah," Heidegger said as he wolfed down his lunch: a meatball sub with oodles and oodles of gouda and limburger cheese. Yum. 

Reeve held his breath, the smell of the cheese not allowing him to think clearly. "That's quite amusing, Heideggy. Now please finish your sub before I die of the stench," he mumbled. 

"Kyah! That stinks, Heidegger!" Scarlet exclaimed too.

"Gyahahahah!!!! Oh, Reno, what's the matter?" Heidegger said, laughing right at the Turk's face. 

"Oh my god! I mean, sir," Reno gasped. "The supposed late President Rufus ShinRa just strutted at the Turk office this morning and asked if he could see the acting President today, sir!" he said, miraculously keeping a straight face. 

"Asked? Not bellowed or screamed or shouted or commanded, but asked?! Kyah?!" Scarlet exclaimed. 

"Uh… yeah. He's talking to Elena right now. Actually, he's giggling with Elena right now…" Reno answered. 

"This I gotta see!" Heidegger said as he, Reeve and Scarlet ran towards the Turk office.    

"But isn't he supposed to be dead?!" Reeve asked.

"Shut up, the important thing is he's alive! If he takes over ShinRa again, we'd have our evil advantages again! Kyahahah!!!" Scarlet snapped as they slowed down upon nearing the Turk Office.

"You should really think of redecorating this office, Elena. It's so miserable and glum-looking… I won't let my employees work in this state!" they heard a voice say. 

"Gee, you really think so, sir? I once tried to convince Tseng to paint our file cabinet pink, but he rejected the idea instantly…" Elena answered. 

"Oh my… well then, I'm allowing you to redecorate this miserable little office! Oh… and could you please tell Heidegger to buy pink roses and other pink flowers? We'll fill the whole building with flowers!" Aerith explained.

Rude was just sitting in one corner of the room but he was ready to faint any time soon. "Oh no… I wonder if President Rufus bumped his head or something…" he thought silently, pretending not to hear anything.

"Hey, Mister Rude,"

Rude stiffened. "Ugh… did President Rufus just call me _Mister Rude_? Is that a good or a bad thing?" he thought silently as he wiped the sweat off his forehead. 

"Can you show me to my office?" Aerith asked. 

Rude and Elena thought for a while. "Maybe he can't remember some things… oh well…" the former thought before he stood up. "Yes, sir," he said.

From outside, Heidegger and the others moved away from the door to give way.

The door opened and Aerith peered at them through Rufus's eyes. "Gee… they look funny. And look at Heidegger's uniform! And Reeve's uniform resembles the Turks'… they should change that… or else I might think he's also a Turk…" she thought silently before smiling sweetly at them. "Hello," she greeted happily before walking off with Rude going to the elevators.

Scarlet fainted.

"Oh my god… This isn't happening," Reeve said, rubbing his throbbing forehead. 

"Gyah… next thing you'll know, he'll give us nick-names or something…" Heidegger said, as he listened to 'President Rufus's' conversation with Rude about giving the Turks baby blue suits as uniforms. 

***

"What a dump," Rufus said out loud as he continued to roam around Sector 7. "I thought those executives have done something about this place already?! I oughtta give them salary deductions when I get back in my office…" he thought silently.

He stopped walking as he looked around the place, staring back at the people who were staring at him strangely. "Hmf!" he flipped Aerith's bangs and walked away with clenched fists. "I think I'm really lost…" he muttered glumly. He rounded one corner and stopped when he bumped against this girl.

"Watch where you're going you…" he trailed off when he realized who it was.

Tifa looked at "Aerith" strangely. "A…Aerith?" she asked.

Rufus moved away from her. "Oh my God… she's taller than me……" he thought as he stared unbelievably at her.

Tifa raised an eyebrow. "Is that really you? Why are you staring at me?" she wanted to say out loud, but something was telling her that the girl in front of her isn't Aerith.

"Pardon me, but do you know where Cloud Strife lives?" Rufus asked with a forced smile that gave Tifa the creeps.

"Are you Aerith?" Tifa asked, ignoring the question.

"Yes, I am Aerith," Rufus replied.

Tifa stared at "her" for a while. "Don't you remember me?" she asked with a gentle smile on her face.

"Uh… you said that you're from AVALANCHE?" Rufus asked, feeling so unsure, just depending on his memory of her when he let them hear his inauguration speech.

"What?! Aerith, I was your best friend!" Tifa exclaimed, then covered her mouth. "Oh, sorry… I guess you've been through a lot that you don't remember anybody else but Cloud…" she said before getting closer to "Aerith" and gave "her" a comforting but friendly embrace. "Don't worry, Sephiroth is dead… but what are you doing here?" Tifa asked unbelievably.

Rufus was already blushing, suddenly not knowing what to do. "Do girlfriends hug each other?! Am I supposed to hug her back?! What the hell is she doing?! Who is this girl?! What the @#$% is her name?!" he thought silently in alarm.

"I… I was given a chance to return here… surprising, huh? Hee hee hee!" Rufus replied, imitating the way he imagined Aerith would be saying that.

Tifa let go of "her" and jumped up and down in joy. "Oh, Aerith! That's really good to hear! I mean… we really missed you! Most especially Cloud! C'mon, let's go back to our house!" she said happily with tear-stained eyes before grabbing "Aerith's" hand and dragged her along.

"Lady luck must be on my side… she's going to lead the way home…" Rufus thought with a silent sneer.

Upon arriving at the AVALANCHE home, Rufus made a face. "How the hell do they fit inside this little hole?" he thought silently, counting the remaining members of AVALANCHE in his mind.

Tifa opened the door. "Cloud! Cloud!" she cried out happily.

"He's not home, Teef…" Barret trailed off when he saw the girl standing behind Tifa. "What the… Aerith?!" he said in disbelief.

Yuffie stopped washing the dishes and ran to them. "AERITH!!!!!" she screamed happily and jumped up at her old friend, hugging "her" tightly. "Oh, Aerith, I'm so happy! You're baaaaaack!" she said excitedly as she cried tears of joy.

"Foo'! C'mere! Give ol' Barret a hug!" Barret exclaimed, giving "Aerith" and Yuffie a BIG bear hug. 

"OH MY GAWD!!!" Rufus shrieked out, causing Barret and Yuffie to loosen their grip on "her". 

Rufus realized what he had done. "Uh-oh… gotta be careful…" he thought before flipping his hair and flashed them a sweet smile. "Oh… sorry… I was just… stunned… the hugs were too… too tight! Hee hee hee!" he said.

"Did she just flip her hair?" Barret asked aloud.

The shriek made Vincent, Cid and Red XIII arrive from the second floor in a nick of time, thinking that Tifa or Yuffie could be in danger.

The three halted and stared in awe at "Aerith".

"What the @#$@?! Aerith?!" Cid said.

"Aerith?" Vincent asked in disbelief.

Red XIII blinked. He could sniff something wrong…

"Guys, where's Cloud?" Tifa asked.

"He went out. He always does, remember?" Yuffie said, trying to calm herself down.

"Somebody get that @#$%^%$ guy!" Cid commanded.

"I'll do it! Heehee!" Yuffie said, jumping up and down before taking off with her ninja-like speed.

"I really need to sit down…" Rufus thought silently, feeling his feet ready to give way.

"Aerith, we're really happy to have you back here!" Tifa said before hugging "her" again.

Rufus turned red.

Red XIII approached "Aerith" and began to sniff her.

"What's wrong, Red?" Barret asked.

Tifa let go of "Aerith" and stared down at Red XIII.

Red XIII stiffened as he stared up at Rufus with a surprised look on his face. "You're…" he stopped when he saw "Aerith" twitching her eyebrow at him and clenching "her" fists.

He just smiled sheepishly. "I see that there is something wrong, so I'll just shut up," Red XIII thought silently before he pounced at Rufus.

"Whoa… eh… hehehe… nice… doggy?" Rufus asked, not really sure of what kind of animal Red XIII is. He suddenly missed Dark Nation.

Red XIII licked Rufus's face. "Nice to have you back here, R…Aerith!" he said with a plastic smile on his face.

Vincent was staring hard at Aerith, noticing that there was something wrong with the way she's standing… and her eyes had this different sparkle… "Must be the cause of Sephiroth…" he thought silently before turning away, but he still couldn't help but think about it.

"Listen, guys, can I sit down now? Cause walking over here really took a lot of my energy, and…" Rufus trailed off when he heard the ninja shrieking from the outside. 

"Heeeeeeere's CLOUD!" Yuffie screamed, throwing Cloud at the door. 

"Ow?! What the hell's wrong with you, Yuf—Huh?!" Cloud's eyes grew wide upon seeing the brown-haired girl in braids standing before her.

He began to shake. "Aer…Aerith…" he said, feeling the world suddenly spinning around him… but he could still see her clearly in spite of it all. He slowly made his way to her, but then decided to just rush. He ran to "Aerith", meaning to embrace her, a thing that he'd been wanting to do before but he wasn't given the chance to do so; so he's really taking the opportunity right now.

Rufus's now green eyes (hey, they're Aerith's eyes, remember?) widened in shock as he moved aside, accidentally tripping Cloud with Aerith's feet, so Cloud accidentally hugged Vincent Valentine.

"Ugh, you…" Vincent pushed Cloud away.

"Ohohohohohohoho! Please don't hug me, Cloud… not in front of them…" Rufus said with the most feminine tone he could muster. 

"Huh?" Cloud asked, blushing all of a sudden.

Tifa and the others smiled impishly at them. "Okay, we'll go out for a while," she said before they all stepped out, leaving "Aerith" and Cloud inside.

"No, don't leave me!" Rufus called out to Tifa, but she ignored him.

Cloud instantly hugged "Aerith". "Oh Aerith, I missed you so much… I… I'm sorry for what happened before… I promise to make it all up to you now…" he said. 

Rufus could feel the hairs on his back rising. "NOOOOO!" his mind screamed, but he couldn't move. "OK, ShinRa… this is just a hug. Nothing more. You can handle it! It's just a stupid, blasted…" 

His thoughts stopped in an instant when he saw Cloud puckering up. 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHH!!!!!!" he screamed.

From outside, Tifa and Yuffie giggled. "Gee… what are they doing inside?" Tifa asked.

Vincent raised an eyebrow as he blushed slightly. "I think we'd better stay away for a while," he told them.

"Aww… @#$%$#@#$%&&^$!?!?!? @#$^*&%!!!!! That Cloud's a !@#$%^^$# Casanova guy! Bwahahahahahaha! SCORE!" Cid cheered happily.

"Oh yeah! That foo's a man now! Wahahahaha!" Barret cheered.

Red XIII was smiling impishly as he snickered. "Gee… President Rufus must be having fun…" he thought silently before turning his gaze to the direction of the ShinRa building. "But I wonder where Aerith is…" he thought silently.

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	2. Dos

Aerith and Rufus 

            By: General Quistis & Zhakeena

            Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story plot and the title; any resemblance to any other plots or titles is purely coincidental.

Trepe's Note: Hell, if you're just going to flame this, just go away. I don't need lowlifes like you to tell me that my work is bad because I already know that! You'll just be wasting your time. Yes, I know that Rufus and Aerith died. You don't need to point it all out and what discs they died in, dammit! But for this fic, they're alive, okay?!?!? Just shut the hell up!!! @o@' (I just hate flamers, that's all… I mean, there are other people out there to flame; but why me???!!!! DAMN!)

But anyway, don't let the title deceive you… **_this is not an Aerith+Rufus fic_**… Oh yeah, and don't mind the OOC. After all, this is a stupid attempt at a humor fic. Duh.

Zhakeena's Note: Uh… Enjoy! And don't forget to Read and Review. And to laugh. If you hold all the laughter in, you're gonna fart so much…!!!! Bwahahah!

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Aerith rubbed her hands, enjoying all the power she's gained overnight. "Wow, I didn't know being Rufus ShinRa would mean being able to give this miserable company a complete overhaul! Heeheehee!" she thought almost evilly. "Hmm… I'm gonna have to be much more eviler than that if I'm gonna play his part…" 

Her thoughts were interrupted when Reno came in, wearing his brand new baby blue Turk uniform. "You called for me, _sir?!_" he said through gritted teeth. 

"Ah, yes, Reno! Have you finished ordering for the flowers in your office?" Aerith asked. 

Reno replied glumly, "Yes, sir. Pink carnations, tulips, daisies and roses…" He so wanted to throw up at Rufus' carpet… 

"Hmm… did you forget yellow bells?" Aerith asked, trying hard to do that hair-flipping thing. 

Reno raised an eyebrow at her attempted hair flip. "Uh… you didn't say anything about yellow bells, sir…" he replied. 

Aerith put a hand in her coat pocket. "Uhm… yeah, I guess that was for Heidegger's office… Okay! You may go now!" she said cheerfully. She blushed slightly when she heard Rufus's voice say that. Sounds funny. 

"Uh," Reno began to turn away, but stopped. "Don't mind my asking, Prez, but uh… did something happen to you along the way?" he asked. 

Aerith felt Rufus's face blush. "N-no… Of course not! Why would you ask that?" she said. 

Reno looked at 'him' suspiciously. "Nothing, Prez…" he said before leaving the office. 

Aerith flipped the blonde strands nervously. "I better brush up on my acting… hey, this hair-flipping thing… I could get used to this. Stupid bangs…" she thought to herself. 

She sighed as she looked out her window. "I miss Cloud… I wonder how Rufus is doing… he better not have done something to turn him off completely!" she scanned the whole place for a while before proceeding to the PC, logged-on and began to research some things. "Now to find out if there's any solution to this problem…" she muttered glumly.

She wondered if some simple magic could make things better, but she couldn't find any.

She even wondered why those voices stopped speaking to her ever since she switched bodies with Rufus. "Maybe they already hate me for being nice to Rufus…" she thought miserably. "Oh well, too late to feel sorry for the past…" she said with an optimistic smile on her face before proceeding.

***

 "Aerith," Tifa called out as she knocked for the 10th time.

"I'm not hungry," Rufus responded from inside. "Dammit… why do they have to make me sleep in Cloud's bedroom?!" he thought miserably, really wanting to get out of that hell house. He began to fan himself with Aerith's hand. "Ugh… and it's so hot in this place! They oughtta buy some air-conditioners… and make it centralized!" he thought as he sat up on the bed.

"At least by keeping that door locked, I can keep Cloud away from me until Aerith can figure out how we could return to our bodies." Rufus said, realizing that it had been a month already.

"Are you going to stay in there forever? C'mon, Aerith, don't starve yourself! You might die!" Tifa said.

"Who is that girl anyway? I still don't know her name…" he thought with a frown on his face as he looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember if he has heard any single one of the AVALANCHE members mentioning her name. "Oh yeah… that big bear guy called her Tifa…" he told himself with a pleased look. He flipped Aerith's hair. 

"Aerith?"

Rufus frowned upon hearing Cloud's voice from outside.

"Leave me alone!" Rufus snapped.

Vincent and Red XIII looked at each other with puzzled looks.

"Between you and me, that isn't Aerith," Red whispered to Vincent.

Vincent nodded. "I noticed it too… but who is she?" he asked.

"Rufus ShinRa."

"Rufus ShinRa?!" Vincent exclaimed.

All eyes turned to him. "What?" Cloud demanded.

"…is dead…" Vincent and Red XIII continued with sheepish looks on their faces.

"Duh," Red XIII added.

Cloud and Tifa turned away before proceeding to bother "Aerith".

"What happened?! Why Rufus? Where's Aerith?" Vincent asked with a whispery but panicky tone to Red XIII.

"I'm not sure, but I can recall my father telling me that it has something to do with the Lifestream. If you don't follow its natural flow, it can cause havoc to you." Red replied.

"What do you think happened?" Vincent asked uneasily.

"Maybe one of them was given a chance to return… but then there was a little booboo? I'm not sure… maybe we could ask Rufus." Red XIII replied.

"How? He locked himself inside that room." Vincent said. "Wait a minute…" he began again with a frown on his face, looking away and then back to Red XIII. "If Rufus is in Aerith… Aerith is in Rufus…"

"Or Sephiroth." Red pointed out.

"Scratch that out." Vincent said.

"Why? He could be alive, right? Who knows, Aerith could be in Sephiroth and Sephiroth could be in Rufus…" Red XIII explained.

"You're beginning to confuse me," Vincent muttered.

"I know," Red XIII said with a yawn.

"Sephiroth couldn't be here." Vincent said.

"Okay, so that leaves Aerith and Rufus… so they switched places?" Red asked.

"Possible." Vincent replied.

Silence.

"Uh-oh…" the two mumbled.

"Hey, guys! Check out the news!" Yuffie called out from downstairs.

"What?" Cloud called out.

"They're painting the ShinRa Tower PINK!" Yuffie said.

"WHOT?!" Rufus heard that. He instantly rushed to the window and he almost fell out when he saw the ShinRa Tower being painted pink. "AERITH!!!!!!!!!" he growled.

Tifa and Cloud wondered why "Aerith" just screamed out her own name.

Then, they heard a loud "THUD" against the wooden floor.

"Uh-oh…" Cloud muttered before he forced the door open with his buster sword. He was surprised when he saw "Aerith" lying on the floor.

"Aerith!" he said in worry as he went to her side, picking her up and putting her on the bed.

"What happened to her?" Vincent asked, almost saying, "What happened to him?"

"I think he just saw his tower," Red XIII whispered to Vincent.

"Poor guy," Vincent thought miserably.

"Oh dear… she must've fainted because she hasn't been eating in days…" Tifa said with a worried look on her face.

"I'll take care of her. You two go downstairs and get some water." Vincent told Tifa and Cloud.

"You?" Tifa asked in disbelief.

"Us," Red XIII chimed in.

"But…" Cloud said.

"I know you're worried; we all are… but leave it to me. I'll take care of her for a while." Vincent said with an assuring look on his face.

With that, Cloud and Tifa went down the stairs.

Cloud just remained standing by the living room, feeling so stunned and shaken while Tifa rushed to the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Yuffie asked him.

Cloud couldn't speak up properly. "Ugh… what's going on? It's like she isn't Aerith… doesn't she love me?" he thought miserably.

He fainted.

"Oh my GAWD!" Yuffie cried out.

"Tifa, you'd better get more @#$%^%$ water! This guy just fainted!" Cid said before standing up from the couch, deciding to help Tifa.

Meanwhile, upstairs…

Rufus opened his eyes. Everything was blurry. "Oh… I must be dead again… is it a good thing? Maybe if I just died and returned to the Lifestream, I'd be back in my own body…" he mumbled with a dizzy look on his face. 

His vision started to clear up and his eyes grew wide upon seeing Vincent Valentine and the dog thing looking at him. "Oh no… did the angels in heaven just looked uglier?" he muttered.

"Rufus?" Vincent asked.

Rufus froze. "They know my name… I must be back in my old self again!" he thought in joy as he sat up, looking at his body… but unfortunately, the pink dress and the feminine form made him sad and plop down on the bed again. "JUST KILL ME, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" he snapped.

"Nothing doing, you're still Aerith, after all," Red XIII said, a hint of mockery in his voice. 

"Ugh… I hate my second life… possibly more than my first," Rufus mumbled. 

"So, Rufus… where's the Aerith we know?" Vincent asked him. 

"She's in the ShinRa Tower… painting it pink… Oh the humanity…" Rufus answered hopelessly.

"Oh, so we were right. She's in your body, hopefully," Red XIII said. 

"Yes, she is…" Rufus muttered miserably.

Silence.

"You've been to the Lifestream?" Vincent asked.

"Yeah. Why?" Rufus asked.

…

"You've seen Lucrecia?" Vincent asked again, hoping that Lucrecia finally rests in peace. 

"Nope. But I did see Sephiroth. He misses you dearly," Rufus answered. 

Vincent froze in horror. "What?! Why would he even miss me?!" he said, trying to sound calm amidst the situation.

"Oh yeah, he even said that he loves you." Rufus added with a mocking smile on Aerith's face.

 Vincent raised an eyebrow, feeling all his hairs rising.

Rufus laughed heartily (something that he hasn't been doing in many years), "I had you there for a moment, huh?" he said.

A joke.

"Why the…" Vincent collared him.

"Ack!" Rufus reacted, his breath suddenly shortening.

"VINCENT?!" Tifa screeched from the doorway as she dropped the basin of water on the floor.

Vincent let go of Rufus and turned to Tifa. "Tifa, listen, she's…"

Red XIII bit Vincent's right hand. "DON'T TELL HER!" he was thinking.

"Ow!" Vincent said, moving his hand away from Red XIII.

Tifa pushed Vincent away from "Aerith". "You said you'd take care of her, why are you strangling her?!" she demanded angrily.

"I… I…" Vincent stammered, not really knowing what to say.

Rufus sneered at Vincent. He decided that he could make fun of the situation, so he faked some tears. "*sniff*… he strangled me…" he said.

"Oh, Aerith, don't cry… You'll get Cloud worried," Tifa said, giving "her" a comforting embrace.

"I wouldn't hug her like that if I were you," Vincent wanted to say out loud, but couldn't. "This guy's taking advantage of this situation… hmf…" he thought before smiling calmly at them. "Well it looks like Aerith is fine now… maybe Cloud could kiss her already to make it all feel more better," he said before stepping out of the room.

"NO!" Rufus cried out.

"Aerith, what's wrong with you? Don't you love Cloud?" Tifa asked in disbelief.

"I…I…I… I'm confused…" Rufus replied, faking more tears. "Hey, I could become an actor…" he thought with a secret smile on his face.

"Oh… poor thing… Listen, we'll do all that we can to give you your memory back, all right? Don't cry," Tifa said, reaching out for a box of tissues. 

Red XIII shook his head in disbelief. "Goodness…" he said before walking away, but he stopped upon reaching the doorway and faced them again. "Oh yeah, Tifa, I think Rufus ShinRa likes you," he said with a wink.

Rufus stiffened. "Why you overgrown retriever you…" he began.

Tifa blinked.

Rufus covered Aerith's mouth. "Ohohohohoho! Sorry about that… I was just surprised… heehee!" he said sheepishly.

Red XIII smiled at Rufus before stepping out of the room.

"…. Stupid dog…" Rufus mumbled under his breath before looking at Tifa again. "Thank you very much for helping me get through this, Tifa… and I don't know what that… dog thing meant about Rufus ShinRa liking you…" he said. 

"Yeah… me too… I don't understand it… I mean, Rufus is dead, right?" Tifa replied before standing up. "You wait here for a while, I'll get you a glass of water," she said before running out of the room.

Rufus was stunned as he watched her silently. "But… I'm just here…" he whispered softly. He clenched his fists and pounded on the bed. "DAMN IT! If only I'm back in my own body… I could…" he trailed off when he realized that Vincent was just standing outside, watching him.

"You would what? Hit on our Ms. Lockheart?" Vincent asked with a teasing smile, which looked kinda weird on him. 

"Oh, shut up, you strange gothic… man…" Rufus snapped. 

"You know, snapping doesn't become Aerith… you should try sounding sweeter…" Vincent mumbled before walking out. 

Rufus plopped down on the bed again, sighing heavily. "Hurry up, Aerith… I can't last much longer here…" he prayed silently with a restless look on his face.

*** 

"Excuse me, Heidegger," Aerith said.

Heidegger almost jumped up in surprise because "Rufus" just entered without knocking inside the Executives' Lounge.

"Kyah… good evening, President Rufus," Scarlet greeted uneasily.

"Oh good! All of you are here… uhm… I'd just like to ask some questions," Aerith said.

"Why did he come here all by himself? Usually he'd just call for us in his office or say everything in the conference room…" Reeve thought with a slight frown on his face.

Aerith stepped inside and approached them with a smile on Rufus's face.

"I just read something about switching identities… you know those things from some novels? For example, Scarlet switches souls with Reeve and Reeve's soul goes into Scarlet's body… you get the idea…" she said.

"Uh… yes, sir… what about that?" Heidegger asked.

"I was wondering how they could go back into their own bodies," Aerith said.

"Kyah…" Scarlet thought for a while.

"Uhm…" Reeve uttered uneasily, not having any idea on what to say. 

"Gyah…" Heidegger didn't know anything. 

Silence. 

"Okay, none of you knows? I'll just be leaving now…" Aerith said, turning away. 

"Whoa, that's strange. He didn't explode this time…" Reeve whispered to Scarlet. 

"Kyah…" Scarlet nodded. 

Aerith walked towards the Turk office. "Maybe they'd know…" she thought hopefully to herself. She opened the door and saw Rude filing things in the now-pink cabinet. "Oh, Rude!" she said happily in Rufus' voice. 

Rude slowly turned to the Prez. "Yes sir," he said. 

Aerith asked the same question. Rude nodded as he listened to the strange question. Finally, he thought of a decent reply. 

"Yes, Rude, do you know the answer?" Aerith asked. 

"Uh… actually, no…" Rude answered, frowning slightly. 

Aerith sighed. "Okay… where's Elena, then?" 

"Yes, sir?" Elena said from the doorway. 

Aerith asked the question again. 

"Oh, that's kick-you-in-the-crotch hard…." Elena said.

Aerith moved away. "Really? That'll work?" she asked.

"I don't know…" Elena said.

"Or maybe if you just hit each other's heads you'll return to your own bodies?" Reno asked.

Aerith shrugged. "I think I should try those things…" she thought silently. "Oh, Reno, can you do me a favor?" she asked.

"Me?" he asked.

"I want you to search for Aerith Gainsborough." Aerith told him.

"Wh…what?!" he asked.

"But… don't mind us saying, Sir… but she's dead!" Elena said.

"No, she's not, she's perfectly alive! You see, she was also given a chance to come back. It's a miracle, isn't it? Heeheehee!" 

The Turks shivered upon hearing "Rufus" giggle like that.

"Where are we going to find her?" Rude asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Sector 7." Aerith began to give them the directions.

"Gee… how come Rufus knows the way to the AVALANCHE home?" Reno thought as he scratched his head.

"Hmmm…" Rude thought too. 

"I can see where we're going with this…" Elena thought as she scribbled down what the Prez said by shorthand. 

"… And then if you see that house with the flowers growing out of the sides, you can stop looking because that's it. Did you get all that?" Aerith finished. 

"Uhm… yes, sir." The three replied.

"What are you going to do with her, President Rufus?" Reno asked.

Aerith thought for a while before smiling at them. "Oh I'd like to talk to her about some things regarding our stay in the Lifestream… and of course, ask how she's doing. I promise I would help her, you know?" she said happily.

The Turks were really wondering if "Rufus" was crazy or not, but they just obeyed. As usual. 


	3. Tres

Aerith and Rufus 

            By: General Quistis & Zhakeena

            Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story plot and the title; any resemblance to any other plots or titles is purely coincidental.

Trepe's Note: Hell, if you're just going to flame this, just go away. I don't need lowlifes like you to tell me that my work is bad because I already know that! You'll just be wasting your time. Yes, I know that Rufus and Aerith died. You don't need to point it all out and what discs they died in, dammit! But for this fic, they're alive, okay?!?!? Just shut the hell up!!! @o@' (I just hate flamers, that's all… I mean, there are other people out there to flame; but why me???!!!! DAMN!)

But anyway, don't let the title deceive you… **_this is not an Aerith+Rufus fic_**… Oh yeah, and don't mind the OOC. After all, this is a stupid attempt at a humor fic. Duh.

------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Red XIII used his paws to open the door and tried to hold in his laughter upon seeing the Turks in their baby blue uniforms. "Oh, hello. What can we do for you?" he asked politely. 

"Uh… yeah. Right. We'd like to see Aerith Gainsborough, please…" Elena answered. 

"Er… why?" Red XIII asked. 

"Cause the Prez asked us to do so. Now, step aside," Reno said, making his way in the house, with Elena and Rude behind him. 

"Uh-oh…" Red XIII said, running up the stairs. 

"Oh, the Turks. What are you doing here?" Tifa asked uneasily. 

"We're looking for Ms. Gainsborough. Is she in here?" Elena asked. 

"Uh… she's upstairs, a bit sick really. Can this wait? Who sent you here, anyway?" Tifa asked. 

"President Rufus did. And no, this can't wait," Reno answered. 

Tifa froze. "Rufus ShinRa is alive?!" she managed to say. 

"Uh… yeah?! And he told us to paint the ShinRa Tower pink, fill our office with all sorts of flowers that makes us really, really cranky, and other stuff I can't comprehend!!!" Reno said irritably. 

"… not to mention give us new uniforms…" Rude added, not wanting to admit that he likes his new uniform. 

Tifa tried not to laugh. "Gee, I wonder what's gotten into him…" she said. 

"I don't know, but I really don't mind the flowers…" Elena said. "Anyway, back to business. Could we see Aerith now?" 

Cloud arrived from upstairs and looked at the Turks. "Uh… what are you all doing here?" 

"Aw, great, another dolt to explain everything over again!" Reno wailed exasperatingly. Elena sighed herself, too, before telling Cloud that "President Rufus ordered us to take Aerith to ShinRa building, Mr. Strife…" 

Cloud frowned upon hearing that. "I don't think so. What's that brat up to now?" he said in annoyance. 

Red XIII thought, "Geez, Cloud, you'd be regretting calling Aerith a brat…"

"Please, Mister Strife? President Rufus will be angry coz he asked us nicely to take Miss Gainsborough to him! He really wishes to have her as a guest!" Elena pleaded.

Cloud raised his eyebrow at her. "Aerith only?" he asked twitching.

"Uh-oh… Jealous…" Vincent muttered to Tifa while nudging her. She scratched her head before raising her hand. "I'll go with her if you want to, Cloud," she said.

"No, I'll go with her," Cloud said.

"I don't think the Prez wants to see you, Mister Strife," Reno snorted before going upstairs himself.

"Hey, where the heck are you going? Hey? HEY?!" Cloud shouted after Reno, trying to overtake him at the stairs (which was a hard task, because Reno was taller, had longer legs and the stairs wasn't exactly suitable for running on.) Cloud ended up slipping and hanging onto the banister for dear life. 

Reno finally reached the second floor and opened the doors to all the rooms.

The said Turk face-faulted upon realizing that the first door he opened was a bathroom. And that Cid Highwind was not yet finished with his business. (seeing that he was sitting on the "throne" with the Sports page…) 

Cid's eyes widened in shock. "What the @#$%*^%&$##@!#$$%%^/!" he cursed, surprised at the Turk.

Reno smiled sheepishly. "Hey, hey, hey! Nice ass!" he joked before shutting the door again and rushed to the second door he saw. He opened it and saw a little girl sleeping (Marlene). "Aww." He said before shutting it again. He turned around and saw 

Tifa  running up to him with a furious face. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, barging into the rooms like that?! Why I oughtta…" 

"Sheesh, calm down already, I'm down to the last door in this hallway, ain't I?" Reno drawled lazily as he opened the door. Peering in, he saw who was recognized to be Aerith, lying on the bed, covering her face while muttering what hears like incantations under her breath. 

"Yo, Gainsborough! We're gonna take you to the ShinRa Tower!" Reno yelled, as Tifa was telling him angrily that Aerith needed rest because she's sick from not eating for the past few days and all that… 

Rufus instantly reacted upon hearing Reno's voice. He got up from bed. "Really?" he asked.

"Yeah, and Tiffy here is going with you coz we can't take your blonde boyfriend. Heheheh," Reno said before reaching for Tifa's butt and pinched it.

Before Tifa could react, "Aerith" was already beside Reno in a blink of an eye with a demented angry look on "her" face. "YOU……………" Rufus growled in Aerith's voice.

Tifa stepped away from the two because "Aerith" really looked so scary.

Rufus twisted Aerith's mouth into a cruel smile, "Salary deduction," he growled in Aerith's voice.

"Salary deduction? You can't give me a salary deduction, you're just a flower girl! Prez Rufus is the only one who can give me salary deductions, honey," Reno said while patting "Aerith's" head. 

Annoyed, "Aerith" reached for his hand and bit it.

*** 

            Cloud and the others heard Reno's shrill scream. "What the…" Elena began in disbelief before rushing upstairs.

Rude followed after her.

"Aerith!" Cloud went after them.

Vincent and Red XIII started to laugh when everyone was already upstairs. (So unlikely of them, though…)

By the time everyone from downstairs was upstairs, Reno was swearing loudly, "Aerith" looked like she was on the verge of exploding, and Tifa was shocked and at the same time angry out of her wits. 

"Reno? What the hell did you do?!" Elena squeaked, in fear of pissing anybody else off. 

"I was acting like Reno! Then outta nowhere, Flower Girl here bit my ^&#$in' hand!!!" Reno answered. ("Serves you right!" a voice from the bathroom chimed in) 

"Whaddya mean by acting like Reno?" Cloud demanded angrily.

"Acting like himself, that's for sure… Hmf!" Rufus replied before crossing Aerith's arms across her chest and snorting angrily.

They were interrupted when Rude's mobile phone began to ring. Rude instantly answered it, "Yes, ma'am?" he asked stiffly.

"Kyah! What the hell's going on with you Turkeys!? You're taking too long! Where's the flower girl?" Scarlet's voice could be heard from it.

"Uhm… we'll be right there, Miss Scarlet. Is President Rufus angry already?" Rude asked.

"That's what I'm frantic about… he's supposed to be angry right now coz you're taking too long but he's still DISTURBINGLY AND STRANGELY CALM!!!!! Kyah!" Scarlet reacted.

"Rufus? Calm?" Cloud, Reno and Elena all asked at the same time.

"What's he doing to pass the time?" Rude asked suddenly.

"Watering the petunias." Scarlet replied with a ridiculous tone.

Silence.

Rude hung up with a shaky expression on his face.

"Let's go! President Rufus is watering petunias!" Rude said.

"Watering petunias?" Cloud asked in disbelief.

"Oh, that's his new pastime. Heehee!" Elena explained.

Rufus wanted to faint but Tifa got Aerith's hand. "Let's go, Aerith." And turned to Cloud, "Don't worry, Cloud, Aerith will be fine." She said before following the Turks out of the room.

After letting themselves comprehend the 'situation,' Yuffie whispered to the others, "Hey, should we follow them?" 

"Yes, I don't think Rufus is up to anything good. Especially since he's… ugh… watering the petunias," Cloud said with a slight wince. 

"What's wrong with watering the petunias? That sounds pah-fectly relaxing, don't you think?" Vincent asked with sarcasm dripping from his voice. 

"It means that he's INSANE. Probably worse than Sephiroth. Might end up killing Aerith and Tifa!!!" Cloud practically snarled.  

…….. 

"Hey, Vinny, he said Sephiroth! Teeheehee!" Yuffie said, nudging him at the ribs. 

"… Shut up," Vincent replied miserably. 

"Anyhow, Cloud has a point. Let's follow them from a safe distance," Red XIII said. Then the group proceeded to wait for Cid, who started cussing in the bathroom that he wants to come along with them after he's finished dealing with the LBM. 

***

"Eh… President Rufus, sir! Kyah… the Turks are here with Ms. Aerith Gainsborough and Ms. Tifa Lockheart, sir!" Scarlet reported, trying to ignore the tune her "dear President" was humming as he clipped some roses, this time, in the President's office. 

"Hmmm? Oh, that's great! Bring them here, I'll catch up after I clean up," Aerith, still in Rufus' body of course, replied. 

Scarlet forced an uneasy smile on "him". "Kyah… don't bother yourself with that mess, I'll get somebody to clean that up for you…" 

For a moment, Aerith blanked out, and suddenly remembering that Rufus was bossier than this, snapped (as well as she could) "Well then! See to it that you do! And… uhm… Have some sense to dress up more decently, Scarlet!" 

Scarlet froze, but some sense of relief washed over her. That was, until "Rufus" added, "Please?" while batting the eyelashes.

Scarlet could feel her hairs rising. Then, she fainted.

"Hey, Scarlet!" Reeve rushed to her.

"Oh my! I wonder why she fainted! Must be the heat!" Aerith said with a shocked look on Rufus's face.

Everyone was literally staring at "Rufus" now. "I think he's gay," Heidegger whispered to Palmer.

"Yuck, I'll quit if that is so…" Palmer muttered miserably.

They were all interrupted when "Aerith", Tifa and the other Turks entered the office.

Aerith and Rufus stared at one another for a while.

"Can you guys leave us for a while in here?" Rufus commanded in Aerith's voice.

"Leave you here?" Tifa asked.

"Yes, please," Aerith replied in Rufus's voice.

Silence.

Since the other executives and the Turks were too freaked-out to contradict, they just left, but Tifa was still there, standing there in disbelief like her feet were stuck to the ground and she could not move.

"You too, Tifa," _"_Aerith" told her.

Tifa smiled uneasily at "Aerith" "I see, so you and Rufus are _together_," she said.

Cloud and the others were in the ceiling, hiding there, listening quietly.

"No, we're not, it's just that…" "Rufus" replied.

"No, don't worry, I understand… I just don't know what Cloud is going to say…" Tifa replied, her voice faltering before she ran out of the room.

Up in the vent, Yuffie, Vincent and Barret were struggling to hold Cloud down and cover his mouth to prevent him from screaming because he just realized that Aerith had made a fool out of him.

Knowing that they were already alone, Rufus spoke up, "So, what now?" he asked with a grouchy look on Aerith's face.

Aerith began to cry, which looked strange on Rufus's body. "What's Cloud going to think?! I miss him already!" she wailed.

Everybody in the vent froze. "Rufus misses Cloud?!" Yuffie asked in disbelief.

Red XIII and Vincent were really trying to control their laughter.

"Ugh… what about me? I really was beginning to appreciate Tifa…" Rufus told her.

Barret gasped. "Shit! Aerith is a dyke?!" he said in disbelief.

Outside, the Turks and the other executives were also listening. "I knew it, President Rufus is gay… and that girl Aerith is a dyke!" Reno said in disbelief.

Tifa wondered what those Turks and the executives were talking about. "Hey, you people have no business…" she began, but the Executives and the Turks motioned for her to join in. Frowning slightly, but still curious about what's really going on with Rufus and Aerith, she joined them anyway. 

They heard Rufus's voice laughing, "Oh, so you like Tifa but can't make a move coz you're in my body and everyone else will really think that I am a tomboy coz they'll see my body near Tifa and… am I making sense?" 

"Whatever, Aerith," they heard Aerith's voice laughing.

Suddenly, it all made sense to them.

Tifa fainted.

Cloud and co. in the vent (except maybe Vincent and Red XIII) gaped at the scene below. 

"Hear that, Cloud?" Yuffie said, eyes wide with surprise. 

Cloud wanted to babble out, "I attempted to kiss _Rufus ShinRa_?!?! Oh my G…" not wanting to blow their cover, though, he swallowed it all up and fainted, himself. 

Vincent and Red XIII sniggered. 

The Turks all had bug-eyes. 

The Executives' jaws were practically on the floor. 

"So… what now? I can't stay in your teeny, flowery, no-air-conditioner, AVALANCHE-infested house for much longer …" Rufus complained.

"Well, what about Tifa?" Aerith asked.

"You didn't make me finish my sentence," Rufus said miserably.

"Okay then, finish it," she said.

"…at least in your body, I can't stay there… but if I'm back in my own body, I can stay there… with Tifa. Heheh," and flipped Aerith's hair.

"Stop doing that to my hair, you're dislocating my bangs!" Aerith told him.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever… anyway, you did not use hair gel to brush back my hair. Now I look like a hippie or something… something worse than Reno!" Rufus commented.

Reno heard that and he raked his fingers through his own hair. "I don't see anything wrong with my hair," he said.

"Shh!" Elena warned.

"Okay, so back to business, have you found the cure yet?" Rufus asked.

"Yes and no…" Aerith replied.

"What do you mean, Yes and No?" Rufus said in annoyance. 

"Well, uh…" Aerith hesitated, tracing her feet on the floor (which looks strange on Rufus), "I… found some notes in the ShinRa labs that mentions something about mind-switching…" 

"So? What's the problem with that?" Rufus demanded impatiently. 

"Uh…. If I'm not wrong, it requires a brain operation… besides, it was Professor Hojo's notes, so I highly doubt the safety and reliability…" Aerith finished in a low voice. 

"Are there other ways?" Rufus asked, knowing that Hojo's techniques are really dangerous.

Silence.

"There is one, though… I don't know if it's possible," Aerith said.

"What?" Rufus asked impatiently.

"Revive Sephiroth."

Silence.

Yuffie and Red XIII nudged Vincent. "Hey, Vinny, Aerith said _revive Sephiroth_," Yuffie muttered.

Vincent was already beginning to lose his patience at the two.

Rufus laughed when he heard the name _Sephiroth._

"Why? What's so funny?" Aerith asked him.

"Oh you know… just made fun of one of your friends, Valentine, told him Sephiroth's in the Lifestream and misses him dearly," Rufus said.

Aerith gasped. "Oh my God, Rufus! You told Vincent _the truth?!" _She exclaimed.

Vincent couldn't help screaming "WHAT?!?!?"

Aerith and Rufus stiffened. The former had a glum look on the face, "Geez… just as I've thought… they followed…"

Rufus rushed to Aerith and reached for the shotgun hidden behind the long white jacket, "Gimme my shotgun!" he said.

"No! Don't shoot them!" Aerith pleaded. 

"But they're invading our privacy here!" Rufus snapped impatiently.

But without further a do, the vent gave way and everyone inside fell to the ground before Rufus and Aerith.

Vincent instantly got up and strangled Rufus who was still in Aerith's body. "You!!!!!" he said angrily.

"Hey, stop that!" Aerith tried to push Vincent away from Rufus.

More shouting and more commotion…

*** 

            Four hours later, they were already calm. Vincent was eyeing Rufus angrily while trying to ignore the laughing Red XIII, Yuffie, Reno and Elena.

Tifa was still stunned while looking unbelievably at Rufus and Aerith.

Rufus was still smiling nastily at Vincent with Aerith's face. "I'm too angelic to be punched, huh?" Rufus asked him.

"Shut up," Vincent muttered miserably, not wanting to hit Aerith's face. "Just wait 'til you get back to your own body," he thought miserably.

"What were you saying again about reviving Sephiroth?" Cloud asked, interrupting the tension.

"If we revive him, there's gonna be a chance that Lifestream's not gonna allow it, just like Rufus's revival. With him around, the three of us will be switching. Then it's gonna be even more confusing than before…" Aerith said thoughtfully. 

"Yeah, and _Sephy _ might be using this chance to snog _Vinny_…" Reno sneered. 

"Whaddya mean?" Vincent argued, his face literally turning red already.

"If he's in Aerith's body…" Reno began.

"I get the idea; don't elaborate anymore," Vincent muttered miserably before looking away.

Silence.

Laughter.

Vincent glared at them.

Silence again.

"Okay, seriously… so if the three of us will switch, how can we get back to our own bodies?" Rufus asked.

"I'm sure Sephiroth can think of something," Aerith said.

"How can a crazy person think of something?" Cloud asked airily.

"He's not crazy anymore when we saw him in the Lifestream," Rufus explained while eyeing Vincent.

"Will you stop staring at me? How come whenever the name is mentioned, everyone is looking at me?" Vincent asked.

"Because Sephiroth lurves you," Reno teased.

Punch.

"….hey, of all people, why Sephiroth?! Why not Lucrecia or… ugh… Heaven forbid, Hojo…" Vincent muttered.

"Hojo is better off dead," Aerith replied with a nasty look.

"And Lucrecia?" Reeve asked.

Rufus patted Vincent's shoulders, "Vincent, Lucrecia told me to tell you to take care of Sephy-baby for her…"

Vincent glared at him.

"Just kidding." Rufus replied.

"Why not Lucrecia?" insisted Vincent.

"Okay, add her to the list." Aerith said.

Silence.

Rufus, Cloud, Reno, Yuffie and Red XIII began to laugh. "Heheheheheh! I can't wait 'til Lucrecia gets into Sephiroth's body and we see Vincent hugging her in Sephiroth's body?!" Reno laughed happily.

"Hahahahaha! Better get the camcorder, guys!" Cloud chimed in.

Tifa covered her mouth to stop herself from laughing.

Aerith just shook her head in disbelief.

"Wait, how are we going to revive Lucrecia and Sephiroth?" Reeve asked.

"We're going to pray for them," Aerith said.

Silence.

"Pray?" Reno asked. It wasn't really one of his own "Reno ways".

Vincent was just quiet, trying to stop himself from smiling. "Finally, Lucrecia is mine!" he thought happily.


End file.
